*This post has been written over the course of several days…
I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season. It has
been good here; no one floated away in all the rain! A new year brings many
changes in life, and maturity. I have realized things need to change in order
for me to stop being in a rut. I have been in a rut for a long time now and the
new year has made me realize certain things need a major change.
The first change is that I am staying off social media,
except to admin my groups. I have found in doing this my life has been so much
calmer and happier. I have zero desire to reestablish a Facebook account after
having such pleasure since my main account got nuked. I have found my life more
peaceful and enjoyable so I will keep it that way.
I have made some changes already, ones that are working out
so much better than being stuck in the mud. Some of those changes have
dramatically made my quality of life better.
I have allowed myself to be manipulated for a while now, for
that I apologize to those who were affected by any actions I may have taken
while being manipulated. My eyes are wide open now and it will not happen again
from the ones who had been manipulating me. I tend to want to see the good in
people, overlooking the signs of how I was being used and manipulated. Not any
more though, I have put a halt to it happening and will move forward from here
picking up the pieces.
For over two years I have felt like I was stuck in a rut,
stagnating while I screamed for progress only to see none occur. In all
honesty, it felt as if I was moving backwards, making zero progress and that is
not my vision for a good life or rescue. While I felt stuck, my goal for my
property went unheard. It is time to get all of that back on track and move
forward with the goals and dreams.
Many know I bought this property to give the unwanted and
unadoptables a sanctuary for life. It was never meant to be general intake for
perfectly adoptable animals. I am still stuck with two female dogs that have
been forgotten about by everyone except me. One is spayed and vetted and ready
to go and I still cannot get help taking pictures or leash training either of
them.
I am also NOT a major dog person, yet this seems to be the
only focus of the current rescue I work with. It did not matter how I begged
for help with food, litter or fixing the cats here, little to none came from
the rescue. I 100% support every rescue kitty on my place alone. I got tired of
hearing how people did not wish to help with the cats, had other things to do,
were too busy or whatever excuse it was when I would ask, so I stopped asking. But
on the flip side all I did hear about is issues with the dogs……. How is it fair
you want help with dogs you were begged to leave where they were, but will not
help with the rescue cats? In all honesty, the dogs are personal animals NOT
under the rescue, whereas the cats are rescue animals……
So, I spend time working with the shy ones, in hopes of one
day making them adoptable. Progress is happening for sure Tigger and Blue are
becoming more friendly. They are not yet available but will be soon.
For my FB groups, I approve posts a minimum of twice daily,
usually more than that but a minimum of twice. I am also not tolerating the
agitation some choose to do. I have banned one already and will ban the rest of
the handful who continue trying it. I am tired of the political posts that name
call, degrade, etc. You are adults and if you wish to make a political post it
can be done in a mature adult manner not one that sounds like it came from
junior high.
For now, though, just know the new year is rolling in new
changes, positive ones and those changes will be for the good of our community.
I feel good about the positive movement forward and I hope you do too.
I know I am rambling a bit, but it has been an eye opening
few months and I am working on getting a bit more organized.
** New day same shit….
So, this part will be a bit of “I told you so”….
So, this morning you are having a bad day because I warned
you some decisions you made were not good ones. Now, all I hear is how
miserable the situation is…. YOUR decisions, not mine, have put you in the
situation….. Not my issue to fi it for you either.
Over the last 18 months or so, I have been chatting with
people to find some truth to a situation the rescue has been in. Why can’t
Hooks get donations? Why can’t board members network animals? Why are some
animals still here waiting for 2 years now? The answers I received were
brutally honest in some cases and veiled truths in others. All said the same
thing though…..
They hold you accountable for calling AC that day in October
2023 and this is why they have gone behind the scenes to hinder Hooks. They
felt it could have been dealt with differently and you only called AC to spite
BT. The ones I spoke with felt this and more tbh….. But they all clearly stated
that as long as YOU are in rescue, they will treat YOU the same as they do BT
since they feel on that October 2023 issue that you are both at fault.
This morning you tried to guilt me. It wasn’t the first time
either….. For several months I begged you to do what you got paid to do, then
you cried about me “docking your pay” when the work wasn’t done….. I told you I
needed to focus on catching things up here, things YOU got paid to do, but
refused to do or had too many excuses as to why you couldn’t, or empty promises
of doing it at a future time.
So, this morning you state to me about unfulfilled promises
I made to you about finishing the roof……Why would someone even try when you do
not have the necessary materials sitting there? Why would someone go up on a
roof in the wind? Wind you claim does not exist today…… Why am I giving said
person Amazon stuff in order for them to do that job? Why is that more
important when there is no rain for the next 10 days and Dave’s wife is finally
home and need that camper properly levelled? You accuse many people of being a
narcissist, but your behavior lately has been textbook narcissism….
According to you my stuff (which has already been waiting
for over a year) should wait longer, because you want something done right this
minute. You have a temper tantrum when it isn’t getting done on your schedule. Why
should MY help even worry about your stuff in all honesty? You most certainly
weren’t worried about doing what you got paid to do when I was begging for some
of it to be done. How do you even have the audacity to stand on that soap box?
I am addressing my stuff, not out of narcissism, but out of
necessity. I am sick of the situation you put me in when I dropped everything
to help you and all I got from you was excuses as to why the stuff you got paid
to do wasn’t being done. Once you got mad about unloading the animal feed….. I
straight up asked if you needed help you said “No I’ve got this” so I went back
to what I was doing. Yet, you got mad that I didn’t help unload….. Um gee, if
you wanted help you should have not told me you had it.
You also chose to move Kathy up there after seeing how she
behaved here…. YOU chose that knowing you had been warned of her behavior,
seeing it and knowing you would been dealing with it. Stop griping to me about
a choice you made that you were warned would not work out. It hasn’t even been
a month yet sheesh. You wanted her up there, you made that choice so please do
not gripe to me about things I warned you about. I blocked Kathy and Debi right
after the move, so I did not have to listen to either of them. You said it
yourself, you pawn Kathy off on Debi so you do not have to listen to Kathy. How
would either of them feel if they knew that????
Now, on to another matter…… The rescue….. It cannot keep
functioning this way, stuck and stagnating because of the inaction of the
members. It cannot function as long as people are pissed over the October 2023 issue either. I own my own inaction on things. I could have
not helped you and worked on getting pictures, videos etc, networking etc, but
anytime I asked you begged for help with other things, and I helped as much as
I could with those other things. I have been financially supporting 2 dogs you
were told not to pick up in the first place, going behind the board’s back and
getting them and then forcing the board into accepting them since you had
already gotten them.
You also used donations to get personal dogs spayed /
neutered. May as well say they are your personals since 4 of the bunch are
still in your possession, 3 of which had a chance to be adopted but you went to
Arizona to get them back…… Yeah, I still have the 2 older siblings, why though?
All of my begging for help to get pictures and videos so we could network them
have gone unheard. Rehoming is NOT a priority to you, which is something BT
accused you of, as have others….. So, actual adoptable rescue animals have not
all been spayed / neutered because $700 in gifts went to the bill for 4 of the
dogs currently in your possession…..
I need to move forward with the hopes and dreams I have for
my property, hopes and dreams that you do not share. They are not a priority to
you or in how you wish to operate Hooks. A rescue cannot operate when the
public sees what is actually happening. A rescue cannot function when the board
is acting in name only without making an actual effort.
No, I am not blaming anyone for the things I have gone
through the last 2 years. It is a result of my own choices. I chose to support
someone when I shouldn’t have. I chose to go above and beyond for someone who felt
entitled to such help. So, now I have to pick up the pieces of the bad
decisions I made and move forward, leaving those bad decisions behind me.
The choices I have made in the last few weeks have been for
my own mental health and establishing or reestablishing boundaries that I
allowed to be breached. So I 100% own that I am in this situation because of
bad decisions, or lack of decisions.
Since I have to play catch up on the things you failed to
do, things you got paid for, I will have the helper finish that part of the
roof when weather permits and he works it out in his schedule. It is stupid to
have him go up there when you do not even have all the materials there ready.
It is selfish to even ask him to when the wind is nuts and freezing cold. Not
sorry about that either…… Remember, when he comes, he is technically on the
clock for ME, him offering to help you is a kindness since I am overwhelmed
with what you left undone here that I am working on.
Your own actions lead to your loss of the income you had
from my IHSS. Your own actions put me in a position that requires me to get
these things handled now. Your own actions put you in the position you are in
with Kathy. I warned you about both of them being on the same property. You
refused to listen and now want to complain to me about it? You chose to have
them both up there after being warned it was a disaster in the making. It is
not my job to handle things with Kathy anymore. You chose that responsibility
when you allowed her to move up there. You chose it so you deal with it, but do
not make me listen to the gripes that you could have avoided had you simply
listened.
Now I do have actual important issues to handle, things for
someone who actually needs the help handling. I will be making another post about
current events and future plans likely later tonight or tomorrow.
Have a blessed day folks and please consider assisting me in
getting a few kitties spayed / neutered so they can be adopted!!! See the about
me page for those details.
