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Other People's Drama

Okay it has come to my attention that I'm being drawn into other people's drama again and this is drama that has nothing to do with me nor do I have any part of it 

I'm not exactly sure what is going on all I know is supposedly is that Lori thinks I'm talking about her to her mortal enemy Jer.

That woman has been blocked since I told her she was blocked I haven't had any contact with her nor do I wish to nor do I have any reason to 

So I don't know why the whole bunch of them need attention and why they're dragging me into it but I've seen some of the screenshots of what Jer is saying to Lori and I assure you it didn't come from me 

I have been too busy healing from my surgery and trying to do what the doctor told me to do this time around so that I heal properly this time around 

If you haven't noticed I have barely been online okay I'm literally doing what the doctor told me to do this surgery was far more extensive and far more was done I'm in a lot more pain this time than I was the last time 

You know I'm really tired of being drawn into blaze's drama honestly it's been a year since all the shit went down at Joshua tree which was right after my first surgery when I should have been resting and I wasn't given that opportunity because he couldn't be man enough and go deal with the situation himself he had to send me who was less than 2 weeks out of the first wrist surgery 

I find it's really really funny that it's almost a year to the day and boom somehow I'm being drawn into this drama because they need attention sorry to burst your bubble but it ain't me this time and I'm really getting tired of being accused of being the one doing it when I have no involvement in this shit 

Jer in your messages to Lori you claim I'm sharing her address everywhere well number one I don't have her address and number two I want to see proof of where I'm supposedly sharing this address because my ass has barely even been in contact with anybody since I've had my surgery and I most certainly don't have time to stir up drama while I'm trying to heal 

So you're always wanting proof from everybody else I want to see your proof that I personally know her address and that I personally am sharing it because I can guarantee you that's not happening I do not know her address I know a general area where she lives but I do not know where she lives 

Stop trying to blame me every time you get a hair up your ass because this is the one and only time I'm even going to comment on this crap and I shouldn't have to be commenting on it now 

Just because you guys have no life and you have to stir up drama and chaos and bullshit doesn't mean the rest of us want to be a part of it 

So I think you better check your facts because I haven't contacted you in any way shape or form since the day that I blocked you and I will not be contacting you beyond this post in the future you can leave me out of your bullshit because I'm not partaking of it when I blocked you that was it for me 

why you need my attention I don't know I really don't but I really think you need to get your head checked out 

this is the X-ray that was taken while I was still under on September 30th part of the small bone had to be cut off and thankfully everything is back in place and hopefully it'll heal correctly this time 

this was my post-surgery check up the reason the pin looks smushed is because I'm really swelled and this is just one side I have three spots where I have stitches 

so if you think my focus is on stirring up drama think again my focus is on getting better from this and making this heal so I don't have to go through another surgery 

I wanted a green and white striped cast he couldn't do stripes so we compromised 

So I don't know who's getting information from who and trying to say it's me involved in it but leave me out of it I have nothing to do with it and I don't want any part of it right now I'm concerned about healing from this 

And I'm not sorry that my focus is not on you guys not sorry a bit but right now my focus is on this and that's where it needs to be and it's a sick sick thing that somebody wants to try and say that information is coming from me when it isn't just to stir up drama while I'm trying to heal from surgery 

So you want to talk about selfish ass hats okay those people trying to draw me into this when I have absolutely nothing to do with it are the narcissistic pieces of crap because they would rather stir up drama when they know I don't have anything to do with it but they want to draw my name into it because for someone godly reason they need attention from me well this is the only attention you're going to get because my focus is on healing from this 

And I don't give a damn about the punctuation issues because I'm using talk to text I only have one hand I can type with and yes it's frustrating yes it's painful okay it really is but I am trying to make the best of it and allow it to heal like it should and those people trying to draw me into drama during my healing process need to take their bullshit somewhere else 

I mean my phone got blown up earlier by people asking me about this quote unquote drama between Jer and Lori and the fact that Jer is telling her outright lies about me because I haven't spoke to her and nor will I she is blocked and it's going to remain that way 

I don't know who Jer is getting her information from but it most certainly is not me okay this is literally the first post I have done since I did my surgery went well post and normally I'm more active than that so y'all know I've not been online much 

Jer needs to leave me out of her attention seeking drama and figure out who she is talking to because it ain't me now I am going to get off here and I'm going to rest and leave me out of your drama seriously

surgery went well

I am home from surgery and resting I will let you guys know how it goes tomorrow

DJ Catlady is Live - New Contest too

 DJ Catlady is live - join me for some real fun tonite! Gonne be a great show!!!

Update on my surgery and more!!!

I will also be announcing a very exclusive contest with some mind blowing prizes so do not miss this show or you'll miss out on details about the contest!!!!


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Morning Coffee Thoughts....

 

So, it has been almost a year - September 25 will be a year exactly, since I was attacked and my wrist broken. Now, I face a second surgery that will hopefully fix it for good.

The guy who attacked me had a signature bond and skipped state.  He has not shown up for court and has FTA warrants out for him.

Living with limited use of my left hand for a year has been challenging to say the least. Daily pain has frustrated me because I am typically an active person, now my activities are limited to how the wrist feels at any given moment. 

Victim services suck. They claim they are there to help but they have done absolutely nothing to help me. I have filled out their paperwork, sent it back in and still nothing. 

I dread surgery and look forward to it at the same time. I dread having a cast for 9 weeks instead of 6. I get upset because this never should have happened in the first place. One person's addiction and need to get a fix and boom.....

Addicts cannot / will not see the effect their actions have on others, nor do they ever want to take responsibility for their own actions. Victims, like me, wait forever for any kind of justice while the addict is out there enjoying their addiction. Sometimes we pray they end up ODing..... Sad, but very true when the justice system has failed us we pray for any type of justice.

With my surgery coming up very soon I dread the recovery time. I dread being forced to be dependent on others and not being able to do certain things myself. It is humiliating not to be able to put my own hair in a pony tail. I can right now, but after the surgery I will not be able to for weeks. No YT video has even been helpful on how to do it one handed either......

I have only told a handful of people the exact date of surgery because I wish to keep that private. I will be posting pix before and after, once I get home and settled in. It is a same day surgery but a longer one than the first. My wrist now requires extensive reconstruction which means I will forever have plates and screws in it.

The guy who injured me doesn't care that he maimed me for life. All he cared about was getting to town to get his meth. 

The whole experience has taught me a lot though. I have learned to be more jaded, cynical.  I am less trusting now. I also learned that no matter what I must teach my body to alter how it does things so I am not so dependent on others. The last part has been the hardest because of the loss of most function in the left hand.

There is no nerve damage and all the fingers work. The hand has no strength and limited mobility. But, figuring out how to adapt is a learning process and , although frustrating, is also educational. It can also be satisfying because you feel happy when you figure out a new way to do something.

Over the next couple of months I may not post as much because the left hand will be unable to type for a while. Using talk to text sucks because mine is psycho due to my left over accent. be patient with me during the healing process. Once the cast comes off I should be back and able to pen more great articles like before the injury.

Thank you and have a blessed day folks!

DJ Catlady is LIVE Now

 

DJ Catlady is LIVE - show starts @ pm PST
Join me for some hella fun this evening - I dare ya.....

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DJ Catlady is LIVE - link below join me!!!

 

DJ Catlady is LIVE - show starts @ pm PST
Join me for some hella fun this evening - I dare ya.....

http://162.255.84.51:2199/start/desertheat

Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter - some thoughts on it

 

I will be adding to this post since it is quite complex.

The main thing I want to address this morning is something they kept repeating throughout the entire show. How could the wife stay with the killer and continue to support him knowing what he did?

Having been in a relationship quite similar I can shed some insight on this. The woman is love bombed to the point she feels so deeply in love that she is blind. When the abuse starts it is slow, always followed with more love bombing and how it is always her fault..... Many times his family is complicit in enabling the abuse and the fact that he cuts her off from anyone who might help her alienates her and makes her feel that she is completely dependent on him. 

The brainwashing is slow and methodical. She cannot survive without him. She is nothing without him. She has nowhere to go if she tries to leave. No man will ever want her the way he does. No one will ever love her the way he does. He didn't mean to hurt her, it was an accident. If she wasn't so stupid he wouldn't get so angry. 

I was lucky to get out after 20 years. For a long time I thought I would be trapped with him forever. 

Even with his lack of education, he only went to the 8th grade, his brainwashing was very effective. I was the wife in that show for a long time. His family also participated in the brainwashing, almost like a group effort. They were very effective at grooming me into thinking my only purpose was to take care of them.

You get to a point that you do anything to keep him from getting upset, keep him from hitting you..... But nothing is ever good enough. He always finds a reason to take out his frustrations on you - even if those frustrations were not caused by you. Bad day at work, bam. Not enough money for bills, bam. He always finds a reason to pick fights that end up physical. Then come the apologies and love bombing. 

It's for your own good. I really didn't mean to get so upset. I'm so sorry let me get some ice for that. You know you can't be seen like this, cover it when you go out. 

He is always jealous. At grocery stores he is always watching other men and accusing them of eyeing you, or accusing you of walking too sexy, looking too sexy. He refuses to allow you to wear make up except for him, in private. He doesn't want other men seeing how beautiful you are, that is only for him. 

The wife in the show had been programmed very effectively and was not strong enough to break that toxic bond. Thankfully I did. 

But to ask why she still supports him, it's because his programming was so complete she literally cannot exist without him. Even though he is in prison, she still has him in a weird way. His calls give her comfort and some hope they might be together again some day. I used to be her, a long time ago.....

I woke up though. I finally saw through the gaslighting, abuse and bullshit. As a mother I also made the hardest decision I could have ever imagined. I chose to get the kids out even though at that time I could not get away from. I knew I never wanted my kids to grow up thinking it was ok to be treated that way. I also did not want his abuse to turn on them. I did not want him setting that example for them. 

The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was to realize my children deserved better and I had to say goodbye to them in order to free them from the prison he was putting us in. The abuse got worse after that. He knew I knew where they were and I refused to tell him. 

No mother wants to be separated from their children, but I knew he would kill us all if I hadn't given them up when I did. So, I did what was best for them and then I stayed with him until they started turning 18. I figured since they were adults they could decide for themselves how they felt about everything. 

I live every day with the decisions I made back then. I have regrets but getting the kids out is not one of them. I only regret I was not a part of their lives. Because of him I missed out on a lot of things with them that I can never get back. Of course I love them with all of my heart and I always will. 

So, yes I fully understand the wife in the show and how deeply he was inside her head. As I write this I tremble..... I still fear the things he did to me and put me through. I worry the older kids may still have memories of seeing him abuse me and I pray they have long forgotten those. 

I got away in 2011 and here it is 13 years later and I still struggle with some things. I am working through it though. 

The wife in the show is similar to a cult member. In her case a tiny cult where he was the leader and she followed unconditionally. Women who have Battered Women's Syndrome can relate to just how deep he gets into her head. A great movie about this is called "The Burning Bed". Although that movie ends up with the wife killing her abuser, it still shows a good bit of what she goes through.

She does things and people ask why. There is no good answer because even she cannot answer why. All she knows is he wanted it so she obeyed without question because if she hadn't the beating would have been extreme. He could tell her to do something totally illegal and she would obey no questions asked. 

But to understand how he gets so deep into her head you must first understand it begins with him alienating her from everyone - literally everyone. 

More on that in the next part.........~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Evening Coffee Time

 

So, surgery is later this month and I am busting ass getting things prepped for being one handed again. Doc said this surgery means 3 extra weeks in a cast. Not happy with that but it is what it is.

I thought the cooler weather meant I would be able to get some outside stuff done. Nope, some jackass arsonist decides to choke us all on the smoke and cause good people to lose their home in the hills. Holding him criminally accountable isn't enough, but he has nothing to gain from a civil suit either. 

I have been doing some upgrades in the motorhome..... Got most of the carpet out of the bedroom and plenty of new kitty things in here. Bebe finally has a window hammock - which she will not use. Penny and Sister time share it. The boys have tunnels and I have 2 other window perches to put up. Gendry claimed the palm tree scratcher that I put in the bedroom.

It is frustrating that my wrist is still fucked up an entire year after being attacked. So much could have been done except being one handed - and all of my time was spent on someone else's animals....... It sucks because that someone didn't even appreciate everything, she felt entitled to have someone else house and care for her animals. She didn't care about my wrist even when she was told to make other arrangements for a helper in April so that I could get the surgery then. 

People who do not deal with chronic pain have zero idea of just how mentally and physically exhausting it is. It is not depression as one person keeps trying to tell everyone that I suffer from. That person has no degree but loves to makes mental health diagnoses. No, I am simply exhausted all the time. Some days I wake up and all I want to do is go right back to bed because the pain and the exhaustion. I have days I force myself to get things done because I feel upset that I am not getting it done in the time frame I had wanted. 

I am happy that things are quieter now that I have blocked several drama queens. The last one knows I run the scammers exposed group and was dropping demands about me making posts on certain people in animal rescue. I asked them for screenshots, of course they refuse to provide anything. Same song with the band that wanted these people posted. They do not like them therefore they must be slammed. Sorry but the scammers group requires proof of what you claim and you provided zero proof - just some names and accusations. I do not get paid to do any of the research or for spending my time hunting for things you could easily provide since you already have them. So if you wanna be pissed because I never posted them go right ahead. Your little band of hens does nothing but cluck and bully and that's precisely why I blocked all of you.

I have come to realize that people will not respect boundaries if you allow them to cross it once in a while. Then when you begin defending that boundary all of a sudden you are the bitch. My mental health and my happy place is more important to me than allowing you to continually disrespect me. I am not and never was the problem. I wrongfully allowed you to disrespect me and when I said enough you got pissy. It's all good you can take your pissy attitude and try it on others because I do NOT have to deal with it. 

So, while one wants to have everyone think I suffer some major depression, that is NOT my official diagnosis from a professional. My actual diagnosis is severe panic disorder - which is NOT even related to depression. Unless you have ever dealt with this disorder then you have no idea how it works. People suffering from it have to spend a lot of time learning what triggers panic attacks for them, because it is different for each person. Then we have to teach ourselves not to react to the triggers. It is not easy.... And people wonder why I live where I do...... No triggers out here!!!!! Made dealing with the panic disorder easier to get under control and handled.

I hear so many rumors about why I live out here and how I live. But, the peace from the triggers is amazing. There are no words for how much peace I have had since buying this land. Those who suffer panic disorder know exactly what I mean - even a few minutes of peace from the triggers is amazing.

I also know the roller-coaster of getting a proper diagnosis. As a child I was told it was ADD / ADHD...... They were wrong then. I was also told it was rapid cycling bi-polar. Again, they were wrong. None of the meds for any of those ever worked. They only made it worse. So, I do know the struggle of here try this, no let's try that...... But what works for me will not work as a cookie cutter solution for everyone. All I know is that it works for me.

So for those who like to chatter go ahead. I will be here plugging along and getting through each day the best that I can. It doesn't need to please you or make you happy. I was not put on this earth to please or serve you. I wasn't put here to do what you think is right for me. I am here to do what is right for me whether you like it or not.

I have been blessed the past few months and for that I am forever grateful. I am finding that I do have some true friends, ones who actually care. After being screwed over so many times it is refreshing to have a real friendship or two.

Tomorrow I will be doing an early radio show and the evening one. Be sure to tune in for both! Have a blessed night everyone!

Stacy and rent a wheel

I'm still being harassed by rent a wheel because Stacy put me down I guess as a reference or something I have no idea but they called yesterday I explained again they called again today and left a message 

Stacy needs to either turn those Wheels in or pay for them because this is getting to the point of harassment and her bills should not be calling me at all