Just the Neighbor.......

 

Rant post…..

I hate it when people who aren’t family, tell you that you are. Then use the line “You’re just the neighbor”.

Why am I the first one who gets called to drop everything to run up on the hill to check on shit – IF I am just the neighbor???

Why am I ALWAYS the one picking up the pieces (although this last time I wasn’t alone doing so)?

If you did not value me then why bother involving me?

Why do I have to clean up after messes made by others when I am just the neighbor?

Why is it ME spending hours upon hours of UNPAID labor scrubbing those floors, walls, toilets etc…. When I am just the neighbor?

Why is it ME making sure a 100 year old woman was getting fed twice daily with snacks in between? When I am just the neighbor?

Why is it me using my gas, in a vehicle YOU were told needed work and really should NOT be driven until I fixed it – to go up on that hill sometimes 4 times daily? When I am just the neighbor…

Why was it me spending my gas, my time, my food, my cleaning supplies etc when I am just the neighbor?

Why was it ME asking the nurse to bring her pee pads for her service dog so I no longer had to scrub the mess off the floor? When I am just the neighbor….

Why is it me taking inventory so that another person could run the errands and make sure she was stocked up? When I am just the neighbor….

Why is it me, dropping everything because of some perceived / created crisis – having to diffuse it and resolve it when I am just the neighbor?

Why is it my duty to make sure she eats, has a clean house, clean up after her dog, put batteries in her flashlights, pack water to flush her toilets and do her dishes, cook for her, make sure her markers for her wipe board work – when I am just the neighbor….

Why is it my duty to help one who lives up there pack and load when SHE doesn’t help load….. when I am just the neighbor??? And unload it ALONE to store…..

Why does that person seem to expect me to know what is supposed to be loaded and what isn’t? When I am just the neighbor…..

Why was it me who rigged up a battery so the elderly lady had a light and could charge her phone when her generator was off…. When I am just the neighbor????

Why is it me tearing up my vehicle for people who absolutely do not even appreciate it? When I am just the neighbor…..

Why do I need to pick up dog poop in YOUR yard, when I see it….. When I am just the neighbor…

Why do I need to clean your yard up when I am there to haul a load for you, and you have nothing ready to go….. When I am just the neighbor….

Why am I, having a bad hip and back, having to load your things up anyway? When I am just the neighbor….

Why am I giving my precious time for those who do not appreciate it, nor have even offered ANY sort of compensation? When I am just the neighbor….. (And they get far more money a month that I do)

Why am I spending up to 12 hours per day caring for the elderly woman, when I am just the neighbor……

Why am I always pulled into the middle of family drama when I am just the neighbor?

Why am I supposed to magically know who goes up the road when I am just the neighbor AND so far from the road I rarely SEE vehicles on it?

Why am I ALWAYS the first one called when I am just the neighbor???

 

I pulled away for MONTHS and then you called, no gas for the generator….. wanted MY gas…. But I took you to the store…. You bought your liquor but no food for you elderly mom….. Then proceed to talk all manner of shit about me…..

I have been very good to you, cooked meals, made sure last year you and your mom had a Thanksgiving meal….. You abandoned her last Christmas….. I have done so damn much and KNEW you talked shit and got others who had never even met me to talk shit too…..

But, I blew it off…. Now your thinks he knows everything brother is here…… The one who does NOT know how to thank anyone for everything they have done after YOU abandoned your own mother……

ME – just the neighbor – has TRIED to explain her medical issues, her behavior issues, what she likes and dislikes, wants or needs….. He just blows it off. Never has he been involved in her care, and he cancelled ALL of her support services last Monday……

His own wife could not deal with her….. Now this brother THINKS he can not only deal with her but handle all her issues too?

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR – who knows more about her daily care than a single one of her blood relatives do…..

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who is expected to drop everything and run when they call….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who has busted my ass trying to sanitize a home where meth (and who knows what else) was used……

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR trying to appease the social workers because she wants to remain in her own home…..

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who drives up there multiple times a day to fuel and start a generator, make sure it has oil and all the proper cords are plugged in….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who cooks twice daily to make she sure eats a good meal when I am there, and prepares snacks she can handle alone when I am not there….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR whose own things have been sidelined to deal with a crisis YOU created

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who pulled clothes from my own closet because she had nothing clean when the nurse came to bath her….. Mind you clothes that have never been returned either….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR and preparing meals in containers that also never get returned, or seen again – some of which was actual Tupperware

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who has to provide food for dogs on multiple occasions because YOU took off leaving little to no food – or not telling anyone where the food was – expecting them to magically find it….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who gets volunteered for all this shit when no one bothers to even ask me if I am available

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who is told of all this bullshit literally at the last second, usually AFTER she has been alone for hours or days…..

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who has had to cancel MY doctor appointments to deal with the crisis YOU created….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR begging the social workers and hospice nurses for more help because I am overwhelmed

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who is on call when YOU require attention but when I need something (which is RARE) you cannot even reply to a text or answer the phone

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who always bails you out to prevent a crisis for HER, because I do care about HER

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who has always been there for you, done everything within my power and asked nothing in return only to be shit talked about behind my back because YOU can’t get into my pants…..

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR when you want / need something and then talk shit about me when I say NO to something I do not have or cannot get (between the bunch of you – there is 4 times MY income up on that hill) – it is not MY responsibility to provide gas for your generator, food for your fridge etc….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR you give something to then decide you want it back…. Here take this dog I cannot handle her right now, no I want her back, here take her again….. As well as a few other items that were GIVEN – not loaned – then later wanted back….

I am tired of being JUST THE NEIGHBOR who helped get her approved for IHSS, food bank delivery and other services she needed….Only for YOU to cancel them ALL…. Now she has to start all over from scratch to get them going again…..

I am TIRED of being used for anything you can get then the second I say NO, or have my hands full you talk shit about me.

 

She is YOUR family. YOU allowed her home to fall into the current state it is in. You failed to visit her, check on her, keep up with her medical needs…..

I have cared for her off and on for nearly 2 years now…. I know more about her medical and daily needs than a single one of her family members EXCEPT the ones who strung her the rope lights…. They do come around and stand up for her….

I have seen YOU abandon her with no water, no propane, no gas for her generator and not even a battery for her flashlight…… And expect ME to come to the rescue every time…..

I have seen how you treat HER home and the nasty messes you left in it for US to clean and repair…..

I rearranged MY life and schedule so that I COULD be up there multiple times a day – even though doing so totally screwed up MY daily schedule…..

I have watched you run off every single person who has tried to help HER. I have watched you bring in the scum of the earth to move them in up there only for them to mistreat the place and steal from her……

I have watched YOU tell nurses and social workers that YOU are her caretaker when EVERYONE knows that is an outright lie. SHE takes care of YOU and she is 100 years old!!!!

I have watched HER suffer because YOUR behavior prevents her from obtaining the assistance she needs….

YOU torture her because she will NOT sign that property over to you, either of you….. So you make her suffer….. I see that and so does everyone else…..

YOU are planning an “Estate Sale” and she isn’t even dead yet….. Are you planning her funeral too???

Both of you have been trying to cut out the other heirs…… But SHE has been a roadblock….

It sickens me that you cause her to lose much needed services, neglect her medical and personal care (now that she no longer has a bath nurse I highly doubt YOU will get her in the tub), have forced her to live with YOU while YOU are trying to rush HER into the grave due to YOUR greed……

Having watched the vultures in my own family it is painfully easy to see what’s going on in yours…

WHEN you abandon her this time (if you don’t rush her to the grave first), do NOT call me to pick up the pieces. Do NOT volunteer me for it behind my back like last time….. Do NOT expect me to rush up there and save the day….

Last time I didn’t even KNOW I had been volunteered to rescue HER and take care of dogs…. I had 4 cats having surgery that day AND a car break down…. But I did save the day. I went up and took care of her while my kitties waited in their crates post-surgery and my car needed work – STILL does since I spent WEEKS doing for HER and not handling my own needs….

WHEN you realize her behavior is too much for you and you walk out on her AGAIN….. I am NOT available to save the day. I have to take a 4 hour long bath…. I have to put water in pots although I’m not really sure why…. I have to rush around and clean up my messy yard….. I have to rearrange things for no reason…… I have many other things to do….. (These are your words and actions by the way, not mine)

WHEN she needs her medicine and you – now do not have it – do NOT call me. Her emergency sedative will be needed she absolutely cannot handle someone in her home 24/7….. But YOU think you know everything…. You know nothing Jon Snow but you WILL learn the hard way…..

Unlike YOU, I didn’t run away when she had an episode…. I did NOT leave her in a life threatening situation….. But I am JUST THE NEIGHBOR and it is NOT my responsibility to take care of HER. I did it because I am a kind person who cares.

I have no ulterior motives here… nothing to gain…..I am JUST THE NEIGHBOR who cannot stand to see what SHE goes through because of YOUR bullshit….

Not anymore though……

YOU think everyone owes something to you…. You think it is everyone’s duty to serve at your command….. Well, it stops for ME right now. When I am done, I am done.

Will I lose sleep worrying about HER? Yes I will, probably quite a bit. But no longer will I jump at your beck and call. Your behavior has made it near, if not completely, impossible to find a reliable helper for HER. Enjoy the mess you have made…..

WE worked our asses off to get her IHSS, hospice and the bath nurse, along with many other services she will now go without because YOU cancelled them. Have fun taking MONTHS to get them all going again…… Do NOT ask me to help. I did it already…. YOU are the one who fucked it up…..

Do NOT call me to ask “can you spare some gas or a ride to town”….. Nope, not gonna happen….

Do NOT call me to ask for food or anything else…..

For I have given all these things and more….. Only to be shit talked about behind my back and in the single moment I REALLY needed something (yesterday) you would not return a text or call….

I see and understand my value to you now…..Let’s see how well you do without it now…..

Do NOT draw me back into your family drama.

Do NOT have the cops running all over MY property because of your paranoia about snipers trying to kill you…. So sick of helicopters spotlighting me because of your drunk / high ass paranoia bullshit….

Do NOT have the social workers call me when they find HER alone trying to cook when she is legally blind….

Do NOT have the nurses call me to see if she wants her bath today… Or if anyone will be home when they come out….

Do NOT have the food bank delivery leave the food with me anymore for me to take up there (no one has once pitched in for the gas for that) – because I will NOT be your delivery person any longer….

Do NOT ask me to call this one or that one because I am not going to do it…..I don’t even have most of their numbers anyway!!!!

Do NOT ask me to help with the dogs, loading your stuff, storing it, hell you couldn’t even come over to help me UNLOAD your stuff to put it in the RV for storage, nope I had to do that alone….

Do NOT ask me to help you haul anything…..

Do NOT ask me for or volunteer for me for ANYTHING ever again.

Consider this a cease and desist notice. You have volunteered me for the last time.

I am just so disgusted about this entire situation…. I hate that I got sucked into again….. My bleeding heart cannot stand that SHE suffers….. You have NO idea how painful it is for me to even openly say these things, let alone cut the strings….

But, for my own well-being I have to…..

And, yes I have “Kitty”, who never got a proper name….. He was born here, his kitty mama and 2 brothers from the same litter are here – and YOU literally abandoned him with no water, simply tore open a bag of food and left him. He is NOT going back up there for you to abandon him again!!!! He has an appointment to be neutered and I have already ordered his shots and dewormer. None of which was done for him when YOU had him…..

He was your defense against vermin…… Look how you treated him….. Although I can say you did treat him BETTER than you have treated HER….. So, now that your rat control kitty is gone, enjoy cleaning up rat shit too….

Honestly, after the way you have treated ME a rat infestation with bubonic plague is what you deserve….. And poor Precious got left behind as well…… An outside dog left to fend for herself…. All because of YOUR greed…..

From now on, clean up your own messes because I am not available!!!!!!

As much as I have helped you out I certainly do NOT see you over here helping me…… Actions speak much louder than words do…..

Off my soap box now…..