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Saturday, July 16, 2022

A Rant About Friends Who Try to Micromanage Everyone


Just some random shit that has been on my mind……



I have a friend that thinks she has to micromanage everything – even things that are not hers to micromanage. It is beyond annoying and uncalled for. She stayed with me for a few weeks and took my pup’s pee pads to carpet the floors from one end of the camper to the other. I told her not to that there is no money to buy more. She went through a pack of 100 pee pads in about 10 days. Then she bitched because we had to dip into the ones she had packed away. I told her we wouldn’t have had to use the ones she had packed away if she wasn’t so lazy that she carpeted the floor instead of sweeping. A pack of 100 pee pads normally lasts me 6 weeks. I can stretch it out to 2 full months. This friend used an entire pack of 100 pee pads in 10 days because where she lived before she did the same thing. Too lazy to sweep or mop she used pee pads instead. But she never had to BUY any. Hospice was providing them….. At my house I have to buy them and I live on a strict budget. Now she has 3 or 4 packs left in what she had packed away because she used all of mine even though she was told not to.

This friend also uses speed occasionally – to the point though that it has affected her ability to actually listen.


Nearly 3 years ago I ended up with a dog from the property she lived on. It was NOT her dog, although she did care for him for a long time. Under her care this dog was chained on a SHORT chain with very little freedom. His shelter was a 3-sided pig shelter that was NOT weatherized. She blamed others on the property for this yet claimed she was the only one who took care of him. His name is Spike and he is a pit bull.


She sent me pictures of his “shelter” and filthy water. He never had toys. He loves empty coffee cans though. Spike is roughly 11 years old, maybe a little older. He spent around 8 years on that short ass chain in that sorry so-called pig shelter. She did have kennels. She had plenty of options to house him better. But she never did because he was NOT her dog and the owner forced her to keep him that way, so she says.


It took me a bit to build him a good kennel. Doing so I suffered a semi major injury too. I made the kennel large enough for him to jog around, have plenty of shade and heat / cool areas and even have his swimming pool. Spike had never had a spot this large before. I have even gathered MORE supplies to enlarge his spot. I have him with Rosa (both have been spayed / neutered). She never got Spike neutered nor had he EVER seen a vet!!! I did that for him.


I walk him nightly in the summer and during the day in the cold weather. When I injured my foot in November I wasn’t able to do our nightly walks, and now that I am healed from the surgery I have resumed them. She never sees me doing this because she doesn’t care to pay attention. But she wants to gripe that he never gets to go out on a “run”. According to her I should have a dog run set up.


This friend has ZERO idea of the plans I have been working on. She has ZERO idea of the people I have consulted with about fencing in ½ acre for the dogs or building a catio large enough to suit me. This friend thinks she is the only one who has any idea how to care for an animal, yet so many have DIED on her watch and she rarely bothered to take them to a vet when they got sick!

Today I was asking this friend for some advice, support and ideas. She heard none of what I was asking and began trying to micromanage my animals. In her view I should NOT have cats because I am not equipped for them. I should not have dogs for the same reason – and she thinks the chickens need to go. She is one to talk since she has ZERO cash income and does have a dog – had several dogs up until last year. Her camper was far smaller than mine and ALL of her kennels were far smaller than the one I built.


This friend has done nothing but shit talk about the way I care for Spike. I believe it’s because she NEVER cared for him as well as I do. She never took him on walks while he spent YEARS on a 9-foot chain. She never gave him a swimming pool to cool off with in the summer. Oddly he hates fresh water and won’t jump in until it has a little green in it. I discovered this in 2020 when I got busy with another project and forgot to dump the pool for a few days. I watched Spike having a blast in it – because it smelled like a lake!!!!This friend demands that I keep BLEACH in water Spike is gonna drink and immerse himself in!!! I will not do that it is not safe for an animal to drink water with clorax in it! Yes I wash the bowls with bleach water – but the chemicals are thoroughly rinsed before the animals use the items!!!!


This friend has this issue that nothing you do will be good enough to suit her and she makes damn sure you understand that. She has a reputation in the dog world around here. How I care for Spike can damage her rep!!! How precisely because he is NOT her dog and never was?!?! Maybe the pix of how SHE cared for him??? Even though Spike belonged to Andy, this friend makes it clear SHE was the one caring for Spike all those years. So, Spike being in the summer heat on a 9-foot chain without adequate shelter is on HER then. Spike always having nasty water (as depicted in the pix she sent) and never having enough food is on HER – since she insists she was the one caring for Spike all those years.


I am not perfect. But I busted my ass to build him a large kennel he could get enough exercise in and have the freedom he never had before. I literally ripped my right nipple in half building that kennel. It tore out one of my nipple rings. I did build that kennel all by myself – without help or input from this friend. The first part of the kennel that I built was a wind break. We have crazy wind here in the high desert and I wanted the kennel to be protected from the hard winds. Once the kennel was assembled I also insulted it with old tires on 2 and a half sides! Oddly in the corner where the dog houses are it is cooler in the summer than inside my camper with the air conditioner going!!!! It isn’t pretty that’s for sure, but it IS better than any kennel she has ever set up!


She doesn’t like the wind break or the temporary roof. She cannot grasp that once I get the rest of it finished Spike will have a bare minimum of half an acre to enjoy safely. I am driven to do this for him because of what he suffered under HER care!!!! Yet she loves to try to micromanage and tell me (and others) how we should care for our animals. I do not see her out here helping with the projects for the animals!!! All she does is run her mouth about it.


I hung up on her this morning because of this. She is driving away everyone who actually cares about her with her micromanaging shit she has no part of. Although she supposedly cared for Spike all those years – she has no idea what his likes and dislikes are. She has no idea what his favorite food or snack is. She has no idea where his favorite spot to be scratched is. I know all these things. She has no idea where his favorite spot to sleep is or how he likes to sleep. I know all these things. Yet she wants to tell me what I should or should not do. I do what Spike likes me to do, not what SHE thinks I should do.


I do what makes Spike happy and that is what’s important. Whether or not it meets her standards is not important and I am really getting sick of hearing it. If anything I was doing was wrong the numerous cops who have been out here would have had animal control all over me. Yes, MANY cops have seen Spike’s living situation due to the bad renter I had and the numerous times the cops were called out here over his bullshit. The cops have seen Spike’s kennel, seen his food and water, seen his swimming pool – even though that is not what they had been called out on. Because we had to walk right past the kennel to deal with the bad renter is why so many cops saw it. They also saw the supplies I have been gathering to enlarge the kennel. Most of them commented how lucky Spike was because many dogs do not have that much care or dedication from their owners.


I am just not sure how to get this friend to shut the hell up with the micromanaging shit and shut the hell up about Spike’s care. He is better cared for now than he has ever been in his entire life – especially when she was caring for him. Her jealousy on that is quite obvious.


The other thing she wants to micromanage is my cats. My spoiled rotten furballs that are ALL spayed / neutered finally! Every dog / cat here has seen the vet and has a clean bill of health – with 2 exceptions. JellyBean and Sister. Both are vet cared for but both have dental issues that I am fundraising for since there is no financial assistance for dental care. JellyBean has dental disease and needs more extractions. Sister has an auto immune disorder that attacks the plaque build up on her teeth. Both are under vet care for their issues!!!! I have the paperwork to prove that!!!


This friend helped out my animals when I was in jail. She acts like she was so perfect for doing that. What she will not say is that she never bothered to clean up the kitten poo when she came over to feed and water them. I was in for about 6 weeks. I came home to kitten poo from one end of my camper to the other. This is NOT healthy for any animal and it took me a WEEK to clean everything up!!! This friend also helped herself to my pet first aid kit and foster supply kit. She depleted the entire kits. It took me over a year to restock them and I still haven’t replaced some of what I had!!


That is how SHE cares for animals, yet she thinks her way is the best and nothing I do will suit her.


I have spent the last 2 and a half years gathering materials. My yard looks like something exploded in it lol. But I now have materials to begin projects for the ANIMALS – not for myself. I even have an automatic water bowl to set up for the dogs on their own water tank!!! Because of my foot injury and then foot surgery, projects got put on hold. Now it’s way too hot to do them so as soon as the weather cools off the projects will get started.


I have even found a way to put a USB fan in for the dogs, and in the catio! So, while she sits fretting about things that do not concern her I have been researching and planning, gathering materials and prepping projects. I have consulted friends who are willing to help me with things I am not physically able to do.


Why is this bugging me? Because every time she and I talk this is what comes up. Literally every single time….. Yet she does not want to help with any of the projects….. Hell when she was moving she didn’t want to help load or unload but she constantly bitched about how shit was done!!! I arranged the help and when it came time to load, she disappeared. We yelled for her, we called her and got no reply. When the helper moved the RV she was not out there helping us. But all she does is gripe about how things were done.


I am just sick of listening to it. Sick of her thinking she is the only one who knows how to do shit. Look where her way has gotten her!!!


Anyways, I need to get kittens prepped to return to Dawn so they can be spayed / neutered and adopted out. I also have some housework to attend to….. It is almost 4 a.m. and I have gotten nothing done except a bit a research! Maybe I need the slow time to get my head on straight!

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