Just Venting a Bit

 

Ok, this goes out to 2 people in particular…….. So, if anyone other than those people take it personally keep in mind you WERE warned that this was for 2 in particular who shall remain nameless AND one of them does NOT do social media…… A 3^rd will be mentioned, not by name, but as I said this goes out to specific people I just do not YET want to call them out by name.

 

Now, I must give y’all a little info before getting into the issues here. I live quite remotely and I have one neighbor. She is 100 years old. Her name is Iva, she has 2 sons, one lives out of state, and a lady who “lives” on her property.

Now, one son lives out of state and only comes around when he wants something from her. I was told the last time he came was to ask for money. He came a few weeks ago. I ran into him on my way out and he said, “I have come to take my MOTHER out of here, I have the quit claim deed I am selling the place.” Well, he lied. He took his drug addicted, alcoholic BROTHER out of there and did not look back with any worry for his mother. Why? Iva refused to sign the deed to the property over to him. We haven’t heard a peep from him since. Not even to check and see how his 100 year old mother is doing….. Nor have we heard from the drug addicted, alcoholic brother either……(Will get into him in a moment)

Her out of state son KNOWS about the crap going on up at his mother’s house….. He doesn’t give a rats ass unless Iva will give him the property so he can sell it – basically give him money. Keep in mind there are other heirs, not just him….. But he doesn’t care. Both of these sons are simply out to sell that property out from under Iva and put her in a home – they really have NOT planned out where she will go if they are able to sell the property….. Their greed hasn’t permitted them to make such plans…… But BOTH of her sons want the property sold so they can have the money. The only time I have EVER met the out of state son, had less than a 10 minute conversation with him and he says he wants the place sold.

Iva has lived up on that hill for 40 years, give or take. She has outlived a few husbands as together they built that place. It needs some serious repairs NOW, but Iva, toughed it out up there having water hauled in, living on a generator all these years……. She took care of her husbands when they fell ill and takes care of others she feels obligated to. Iva now is nearly blind and deaf, gets around slowly, but still pretty good considering her age!

Her drug addicted, alcoholic son typically lives with her. Every few months the drugs get the best of him and his paranoia is more than he can handle. He is ALWAYS paranoid about cops coming after him. It does not matter how good you are to him or his mom, as soon as your back is turned he talks shit about you to anyone within ear shot. When he IS living with her no one will go up there to check on Iva hardly. This is because of HIS behavior. He lies, hides his booze bottles or gets the gal living on the property to hide them for him. He has sabotaged his mother’s ability to receive so many social services.

I have known them just under 2 years now….. What I have seen is disgusting how they do Iva.

So, from this point forward we will be dealing with the 2 in specific, since the out of state son is AWOL until he wants something from his mother, which since I moved up here has been a grand total of twice.

The other son, the one who randomly lives with her, is too lazy to bathe, won’t get off his ass to walk less than 15 yards to the bathroom. He will urinate in his empty Kessler (whiskey) bottles and leave them sitting everywhere – usually with the tops OFF thus they get spilled on the carpet and NEVER cleaned up….. If food is brought up HE eats it allowing his mother to go hungry. When workers DO visit he tells them HE is her caretaker – which is an outright lie. Iva takes care of him because he is ALWAYS to high and too drunk to care for himself. This last bunch of workers finally saw through his lies though, so did Iva’s nurse.

Iva is now on hospice, but not for any terminal disease….. She is on hospice for FAILURE TO THRIVE. The 2 people living on her property were literally starving her to death and worrying her to death.

The son who lived in the same house could not get off his ass to walk into his mother’s room to even check on her, cook for her or even make her a cup of coffee!!!! His area was always so disgusting and cluttered it was a safety risk for HER.

He smoked his dope, (not weed) inside of HER home, sometimes with her sitting in the same room. He would spend all of his money on his dope and booze and then beg her for more booze.

He refers to women as “splittails” and other such terms. He is a hands on kinda guy, meaning a female cannot be within arms reach of him without him copping a feel. One of his own daughter’s refuses to be around him or allow him to see his grandson. The other is blind really to what is going on. She loves her dad and WANTS to believe him.

Yes, this guy helped replace Iva’s generator. Yes, he would pitch in SOMETIMES on gas, oil, propane, water and that kinda thing…… Most generally his money went to booze and drugs and they sat up on that hill doing without necessities though. His “help” replacing the generator only screwed her in the long run. It is currently on its last legs and needs to be warranty replaced because HE ran it without oil and overloaded it when he was here. Now, we cannot find the paperwork and Harbor Freight says either bring the receipt or he has to come in person or no exchange!!!!

This son lost his driver’s license long ago, yet would still take off in Iva’s jeep ONLY if he needed more booze – never once to take care of his mother’s needs. Yes, he would get gas for the generator while he was out, but NEVER any food or household needs. Most generally the house goes without things like toilet paper, dish soap, cleaning supplies and what is brought up there ends up in the possession of the lady who lives on the property and NOT used for Iva’s home.

This son would find homeless people, or undesirables that were shacking up at the local drug hotel and tell them they could move up on the hill to help care for his mom. This has never ended well. Most just want to drink and talk shit with the son and NOT really help Iva out. They become the son’s taxi driver, booze fetcher and company. Most of these people have stolen from Iva.

Anything Iva had of value has long since been hauled to the pawn shops or just sold for drugs and booze money. Her son is not alone in this though. The lady on the property has also been a part of this crap. I will get to her in a moment.

The son will randomly take off for weeks or months at a time. He TELLS people he made sure his mom was taken care of before he left….. He lies. The last few times he has left, Iva was out of gas, out of oil, out of propane, out of water and out of food. He is so brain damaged from the drugs and booze he cannot keep his days straight.

THIS time we pray he does NOT return. It has been non family members picking up the pieces….. But, since the workers have been wanting to talk to him about the serious neglect of his mother….. And some suspicious bruising she had that was discovered by her nurse less than 48 hours after he left…..

He likes to accuse people of all sorts of things. He talks shit about the lady who lives on their property, but then gets in her pants when it benefits him, or her….He will use a person until they have had enough. Once that happens he will talk shit about them to anyone within earshot and even to himself at times.

I could post pix from back in the winter when Iva went into the hospital and he took off….. What the 2 of them left her house looking like, and what they have left it like right now….. I spent yesterday clearing out and bleaching her HUGE fridge….. Something I am NOT supposed to be doing……But, that is jumping ahead….

The lady who lives on the property is not related to them. Many years ago she had a son with the out of state brother. The son is now grown with a life of his own. But this “lady” has mooched off of Iva off and on for 30 years, ever since her son was born. Iva is old school and that is her grandson’s mother….

This lady was allowed to live on the property, in a camper that Iva owns – in exchange for being round the clock care for Iva. This lady lives rent free, gets free water, electricity, propane, etc…. She has no cash income of her own, not even SSI…..Yet, until recently she had 5 dogs. She now has 3 since 2 passed away this past Spring.

This lady will care for things ONLY when she will directly benefit from it. Starting the generator means she has electric. Keeping water in the big tank means she has water. Only until she and Iva have words though. Then she will allow Iva to go days without electricity, water etc just because the two of them had words.

This lady has taken food from Iva, stolen her phone charger more than once as well as the phone itself.

There is a distinct difference between general neglect and shit done on purpose with intent to harm someone. It is THIS that I speak out on today. Iva’s son doesn’t MEAN to harm his mother. He is just so gone in his drugs and alcohol he cannot make good decisions. It is NOT an excuse or a free pass. I have gotten on his ass about it more than once. But, this lady really has no excuse.

I will start with what I know and what others have told me. First, this lady ACTS like someone who is high on speed 99% of the time. Her calls, texts etc are rambling, make no sense half the time. I have learned how to decode most of them though. In person she will NOT hold still and her speech is like a record player set on 78…. Or faster…..

It is her duty to take care of Iva, that was the original agreement made when allowing her to move up there. Cooking, cleaning etc this lady is supposed to be doing this….. Iva’s once well-manicured yard, beautiful landscaping now sits in shambles…

This lady leaves Iva in the dark without even so much as a flashlight, or fresh batteries for it. She does things that can ONLY be seen as a deliberate attempt to harm Iva, yet no amount of calls to Iva’s worker gets anything done. It will be easier for me to make a list…

1.       Allows food to rot in the fridge – Iva, being near blind has been known to actually eat rotting or moldy food

2.       Doesn’t clean said fridge – even though she uses it as well….. Black mold was growing all in it (worse in the freezer) when I beached it yesterday and tossed all the out of date and rotting food – 6 trash bags worth

3.       Allows Iva to go without power by NOT starting the generator out of spite – which in turn causes all food in the fridge to ruin – AND Iva has no lights to see to get around her home

4.       Refuses to do daily cleaning, toilets that kind of thing UNTIL things back up and can no longer be ignored

5.       Instead of washing dishes she sets them outside on a table hidden behind a bush – which is where they were yesterday, but will be washed and put away properly today

6.       Steals Iva’s good clothes and leaves her with nothing that fits, or nothing clean. She will not gather the dirty laundry up so it can be washed – forcing Iva to have to wear dirty clothes all the time

7.       Steals dishrags, towels and other things like that. I have taken MANY dishrags up there and they are ALL gone again

8.       Steals brooms, dustpans etc. A new broom was purchased not more than 6 weeks ago and the broom and dustpan are now gone

9.       Steals Iva’s food saying she bought it…. She has even taken things I brought up for Iva to eat and tries to say she bought it

10.   On the rare occasion that she does cook for Iva she will NOT sit and make sure Iva actually eats. Iva will not eat if left alone. You must sit with her until she eats her fill.

11.   Steals all matches that Iva needs to light the burner on the stove with – leaving her no way to even heat water (or get heat since Iva uses the stove burner for heating the room)

12.   Fills up barrels of water NEAR the porch that draw bees – claiming it’s too keep them out of the dog’s water bowls – but are placed so close to the porch they literally swarm the porch (MY belief on this is she hopes the bees keep Iva inside so Iva cannot see what she is doing being rakish in all of Iva’s outbuildings) I have dumped these containers EVERY time I go up there….. No one likes to sit on the porch and get swarmed with bees or stung by them….

13.   She will leave for days or weeks at a time without making other care arrangements for Iva. This time she told others that I was supposed to care for Iva and her dogs (this lady’s dogs) – but failed to inform me of this……Then she will send a certain other person a text about all the things she claims she did for Iva before she takes off.

14.   This time, she took off Wednesday evening. I had 4 cats who had surgery that day and my PT Cruiser decided to act up. I was NOT told that it was supposed to be ME looking after Iva, checking oner twice daily and feeding all the dogs as this lady told others I was to do. She put MAYBE 2 gallon in Iva’s generator and then literally disappeared, shutting her phone OFF so no one could reach her.

15.   This lady left her own 2 dogs without food, plenty of water but empty food bowls. She did this a couple months ago as well when her mom died and she went out of state for the funeral. That time I gave her a pass….. She never returns when she has told others that she will. After the funeral she was gone almost 10 days beyond when she told everyone she would return. THIS time she is saying she is gone until the 29^th…..

 

 

This bullshit has been occurring since long before I moved up here. I adore Iva, she reminds me so much of my own mom who passed in ’99. There is not a fiber in my body that could allow that woman to go without.

Thursday and yesterday when I went up to care for Iva, I fed this lady’s dogs, who are penned up in a yard. This lady KNOWS that I will not permit those dogs to go hungry, even if I have to bring some of my own dog food to feed her dogs.

 

But, this is becoming a vicious cycle with her taking off with ZERO notice to the very one she is expecting to cover for her.

 

Had I been asked, sure. But I was not even asked…… Wednesday I had the kitties and their surgeries. Now, on top of dealing with 4 post surgery kitties, I am having to run up on the hill at least twice daily. I was up there cleaning nearly all day yesterday – scrubbing and bleaching the fridge…… Today, some friends are meeting me up there to tackle the rest of Iva’s house.

 

Keep in mind NONE of us who are picking up the pieces are actually related to Iva, nor have any of us been paid to do this or even asked to. The lady who lives on her property just up and leaves ASSUMING others will jump in and cover for her where Iva is concerned and take care of her dogs.

 

This lady had been fussing with Iva prior to her leaving. She had not started the generator in at least 4 days, if not more. She had filled up multiple barrels of water so close to the porch the whole area was swarming with bees, Iva’s phone was dead and no way to charge it, she had no batteries for her flashlights….. AND this lady has possession of Iva’s PO Box key AND her Jeep key. Iva cannot even use her own vehicle for errands because this lady took off with (or hid) the key.

 

I am SICK and TIRED of the things this lady does deliberately out of spite. Iva deserves better. Iva has housed her, fed her dogs, fed her and done so much for her over the years. This lady would literally have no place to go if it weren’t for Iva.

 

You do NOT leave a 100 year old nearly blind, nearly deaf woman ALONE with no power, no flashlights, a dead phone so she cannot even call 911 if she needed to!!!! You do NOT just leave your dogs fenced in the yard without making arrangements for someone to care for them.

 

This lady ALWAYS says well “C” was supposed to be checking on the dogs….. “C” never does…. She knows that….. It is ME who listens to these dogs barking like crazy because they are HUNGRY and lonely!!!! Sometimes they bark all night long until I go up and check to see WHY they are barking….. I have been feeding them, but I have obligations of my own and cannot spend much time with HER dogs…. I have 4 post surgery kitties….. Not to mention my Jeep is running on fumes just to go up and take care of things that no one consulted me about but yet told everyone that I was supposed to…..

 

Am I upset? Hell yes!!!! Iva’s nurses and workers are pissed off too. This lady hides whenever the social workers go up to see Iva. She KNOWS they will get on her ass.

 

The workers can only do so much since Iva wishes to remain in her own home. I was the one who arranged the food bank delivery to Iva. I go to other food banks and pick up things for her. None of which the lady living on her property does.

 

That lady does things to “look good” to the workers, such as leaving a jar of homemade spaghetti that I brought up months ago, in the fridge to make it look like SHE is providing meals for Iva.

 

Keep in mind, Iva is on hospice for FAILURE TO THRIVE – meaning her live in caretakers are neglecting her…..

 

It also does not seem to matter how often workers are called up to Iva’s, nothing is ever done. Yes, a nurse now comes to bathe her FINALLY! Prior to that Iva only got a proper bath when her son would take her to the local drug hotel to get his monthly fix. Yes, workers now pay her regular visits. Lot’s of talk on those visits very little actual action though.

 

This lady says, well I ain’t getting paid to do this or that. Free room and board, free dog food etc YES YOU ARE GETTING PAID. We even got Iva approved for In Home Support Services which would mean a little more than minimum wage for housekeeping, laundry, running errands etc…. But, she has been extremely resistant about getting this finalized…..Maybe it’s passing the drug test who knows…..

 

This lady will throw up how she took care of my place for a few weeks last year. One time have I ever asked for this kind of help, just once. This lady and Iva’s son do this on a regular basis.

 

I live on an extremely limited income and take from my own pocket to do for Iva. Why? Because if I live to be Iva’s age I would hope someone would do it for me. I respect Iva. The Ex daughter in law also helps out a lot!!! It is ALWAYS me and her picking up pieces when this shit happens…..

 

This time it fell at an inopportune time for both of us. I have post surgery kitties and 1 vehicle acting up. The ex daughter in law has her own grandson’s birthday. But, we manage to take care of Iva, make sure she has everything she needs, cook for her and make sure she eats and has things she can eat when we aren’t there, make sure her phone stays charged and all dogs are cared for, regardless of anything else we have going on we take care of Iva and we aren’t even related to her!!!!

 

I have only lived out here since February 2019. Iva has lived against the hill for 40 + years….. This is NOT an easy life to say the least, especially building from bare ground. I see Iva and KNOW I can do it. How hard is it to care for a woman who has spent her entire life building a home for her kids and something to leave for her grandkids?

 

I know she isn’t always the easiest to get along with, but this is typically brought on by the actions of her “caretakers”. She has ALWAYS been kind to me, even when I won’t take her sassing me when I ask where her dirty laundry is, or all her dirty dishes lol.

 

I am not looking to toot a horn…. I want it known that I am sick and tired of seeing how Iva is treated by her live in’s and how her live in’s just take for granted that me and the ex daughter in law will always be there. For Iva we WILL be….. for the live in…. You have burnt your bridges…..

 

To the live in --- You love to lecture everyone about how to “properly” care for a dog. You talk at length about what a great doggie mom you are. You try to shame others that you feel are not as good of a dog mom as you are. You are so full of shit I cannot stand the lies anymore.

 

1.       You take off leaving dogs penned up with no food and make no arrangements for their care in your absence

2.       You had 2 DIE this year because YOU would not call around and get funding to have them seen by a vet

3.       You self diagnosis and medicate the dogs up there not really knowing what is wrong with them or if the medications you give them are right for the problem – FYI massive doses of amoxicillin will NOT cure bladder cancer (which you diagnosed, but is NOT vet diagnosed) – all you are doing is making that particular dog antibiotic resistant

4.       The dog I have that came from up there (abandoned by my daughter here) – was kept on a 9 foot chain his entire life and he is near 10 years old now – yet YOU like to lecture ME about the pen I built for him and Rosa….. He wasn’t even neutered!!! I did that. He is no longer chained, he can run and play. You didn’t do that – I did. You never even had him vaccinated for ANYTHING. When was the last time YOUR dogs got their shots????

5.       When your dogs are inside of your TINY camper they are penned in a cage so small they can barely move.

6.       YOUR kennels are tiny in comparison to the one I made for my 2 dogs. Yet, you love to talk shit about mine….

7.       You have 1 that can be aggressive and you have been known to allow him outside of your fenced yard, even knowing he could seriously injure Iva or anyone else who is not familiar with him – but he is the one you take with you when you leave….

 

 

So, while you sit wherever you are right now, remember this…..The very person you talk shit about and how she cares for dogs is taking care of YOURS. The person you never consulted with about doing this in your absence – yet told others I would be – is the one making sure YOUR dogs do not go hungry, YOUR dogs have a warm pace to sleep, YOUR dogs have clean water to drink and treats when I visit.

 

The next time you want to talk shit about ME, remember this, I could have just as easily called animal control to report abandoned dogs that are penned up with no care…… But, unlike YOU, I have a conscience. I will do what is right. Iva wants the dogs feed, watered and cared for and this is what I will do. Not for YOU, but because Iva asked me to.

 

The very woman you neglect, mistreat and do shit deliberately to harm asked for your dogs to be cared for.

 

Maybe when you return you will remember that. Because the next time you take off this way how WE handle the situation will be much different.