New Year, New Me.....

 

*This post has been written over the course of several days…

 

I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season. It has been good here; no one floated away in all the rain! A new year brings many changes in life, and maturity. I have realized things need to change in order for me to stop being in a rut. I have been in a rut for a long time now and the new year has made me realize certain things need a major change.

The first change is that I am staying off social media, except to admin my groups. I have found in doing this my life has been so much calmer and happier. I have zero desire to reestablish a Facebook account after having such pleasure since my main account got nuked. I have found my life more peaceful and enjoyable so I will keep it that way.

I have made some changes already, ones that are working out so much better than being stuck in the mud. Some of those changes have dramatically made my quality of life better.

I have allowed myself to be manipulated for a while now, for that I apologize to those who were affected by any actions I may have taken while being manipulated. My eyes are wide open now and it will not happen again from the ones who had been manipulating me. I tend to want to see the good in people, overlooking the signs of how I was being used and manipulated. Not any more though, I have put a halt to it happening and will move forward from here picking up the pieces.

For over two years I have felt like I was stuck in a rut, stagnating while I screamed for progress only to see none occur. In all honesty, it felt as if I was moving backwards, making zero progress and that is not my vision for a good life or rescue. While I felt stuck, my goal for my property went unheard. It is time to get all of that back on track and move forward with the goals and dreams.

Many know I bought this property to give the unwanted and unadoptables a sanctuary for life. It was never meant to be general intake for perfectly adoptable animals. I am still stuck with two female dogs that have been forgotten about by everyone except me. One is spayed and vetted and ready to go and I still cannot get help taking pictures or leash training either of them.

I am also NOT a major dog person, yet this seems to be the only focus of the current rescue I work with. It did not matter how I begged for help with food, litter or fixing the cats here, little to none came from the rescue. I 100% support every rescue kitty on my place alone. I got tired of hearing how people did not wish to help with the cats, had other things to do, were too busy or whatever excuse it was when I would ask, so I stopped asking. But on the flip side all I did hear about is issues with the dogs……. How is it fair you want help with dogs you were begged to leave where they were, but will not help with the rescue cats? In all honesty, the dogs are personal animals NOT under the rescue, whereas the cats are rescue animals……

So, I spend time working with the shy ones, in hopes of one day making them adoptable. Progress is happening for sure Tigger and Blue are becoming more friendly. They are not yet available but will be soon.

For my FB groups, I approve posts a minimum of twice daily, usually more than that but a minimum of twice. I am also not tolerating the agitation some choose to do. I have banned one already and will ban the rest of the handful who continue trying it. I am tired of the political posts that name call, degrade, etc. You are adults and if you wish to make a political post it can be done in a mature adult manner not one that sounds like it came from junior high.

For now, though, just know the new year is rolling in new changes, positive ones and those changes will be for the good of our community. I feel good about the positive movement forward and I hope you do too.

I know I am rambling a bit, but it has been an eye opening few months and I am working on getting a bit more organized.

 

** New day same shit….

So, this part will be a bit of “I told you so”….

So, this morning you are having a bad day because I warned you some decisions you made were not good ones. Now, all I hear is how miserable the situation is…. YOUR decisions, not mine, have put you in the situation….. Not my issue to fi it for you either.

Over the last 18 months or so, I have been chatting with people to find some truth to a situation the rescue has been in. Why can’t Hooks get donations? Why can’t board members network animals? Why are some animals still here waiting for 2 years now? The answers I received were brutally honest in some cases and veiled truths in others. All said the same thing though…..

They hold you accountable for calling AC that day in October 2023 and this is why they have gone behind the scenes to hinder Hooks. They felt it could have been dealt with differently and you only called AC to spite BT. The ones I spoke with felt this and more tbh….. But they all clearly stated that as long as YOU are in rescue, they will treat YOU the same as they do BT since they feel on that October 2023 issue that you are both at fault.

This morning you tried to guilt me. It wasn’t the first time either….. For several months I begged you to do what you got paid to do, then you cried about me “docking your pay” when the work wasn’t done….. I told you I needed to focus on catching things up here, things YOU got paid to do, but refused to do or had too many excuses as to why you couldn’t, or empty promises of doing it at a future time.

So, this morning you state to me about unfulfilled promises I made to you about finishing the roof……Why would someone even try when you do not have the necessary materials sitting there? Why would someone go up on a roof in the wind? Wind you claim does not exist today…… Why am I giving said person Amazon stuff in order for them to do that job? Why is that more important when there is no rain for the next 10 days and Dave’s wife is finally home and need that camper properly levelled? You accuse many people of being a narcissist, but your behavior lately has been textbook narcissism….

According to you my stuff (which has already been waiting for over a year) should wait longer, because you want something done right this minute. You have a temper tantrum when it isn’t getting done on your schedule. Why should MY help even worry about your stuff in all honesty? You most certainly weren’t worried about doing what you got paid to do when I was begging for some of it to be done. How do you even have the audacity to stand on that soap box?

I am addressing my stuff, not out of narcissism, but out of necessity. I am sick of the situation you put me in when I dropped everything to help you and all I got from you was excuses as to why the stuff you got paid to do wasn’t being done. Once you got mad about unloading the animal feed….. I straight up asked if you needed help you said “No I’ve got this” so I went back to what I was doing. Yet, you got mad that I didn’t help unload….. Um gee, if you wanted help you should have not told me you had it.

You also chose to move Kathy up there after seeing how she behaved here…. YOU chose that knowing you had been warned of her behavior, seeing it and knowing you would been dealing with it. Stop griping to me about a choice you made that you were warned would not work out. It hasn’t even been a month yet sheesh. You wanted her up there, you made that choice so please do not gripe to me about things I warned you about. I blocked Kathy and Debi right after the move, so I did not have to listen to either of them. You said it yourself, you pawn Kathy off on Debi so you do not have to listen to Kathy. How would either of them feel if they knew that????

Now, on to another matter…… The rescue….. It cannot keep functioning this way, stuck and stagnating because of the inaction of the members. It cannot function as long as people are pissed over the October  2023 issue either.  I own my own inaction on things. I could have not helped you and worked on getting pictures, videos etc, networking etc, but anytime I asked you begged for help with other things, and I helped as much as I could with those other things. I have been financially supporting 2 dogs you were told not to pick up in the first place, going behind the board’s back and getting them and then forcing the board into accepting them since you had already gotten them.

You also used donations to get personal dogs spayed / neutered. May as well say they are your personals since 4 of the bunch are still in your possession, 3 of which had a chance to be adopted but you went to Arizona to get them back…… Yeah, I still have the 2 older siblings, why though? All of my begging for help to get pictures and videos so we could network them have gone unheard. Rehoming is NOT a priority to you, which is something BT accused you of, as have others….. So, actual adoptable rescue animals have not all been spayed / neutered because $700 in gifts went to the bill for 4 of the dogs currently in your possession…..

I need to move forward with the hopes and dreams I have for my property, hopes and dreams that you do not share. They are not a priority to you or in how you wish to operate Hooks. A rescue cannot operate when the public sees what is actually happening. A rescue cannot function when the board is acting in name only without making an actual effort.

No, I am not blaming anyone for the things I have gone through the last 2 years. It is a result of my own choices. I chose to support someone when I shouldn’t have. I chose to go above and beyond for someone who felt entitled to such help. So, now I have to pick up the pieces of the bad decisions I made and move forward, leaving those bad decisions behind me.

The choices I have made in the last few weeks have been for my own mental health and establishing or reestablishing boundaries that I allowed to be breached. So I 100% own that I am in this situation because of bad decisions, or lack of decisions.

Since I have to play catch up on the things you failed to do, things you got paid for, I will have the helper finish that part of the roof when weather permits and he works it out in his schedule. It is stupid to have him go up there when you do not even have all the materials there ready. It is selfish to even ask him to when the wind is nuts and freezing cold. Not sorry about that either…… Remember, when he comes, he is technically on the clock for ME, him offering to help you is a kindness since I am overwhelmed with what you left undone here that I am working on.

Your own actions lead to your loss of the income you had from my IHSS. Your own actions put me in a position that requires me to get these things handled now. Your own actions put you in the position you are in with Kathy. I warned you about both of them being on the same property. You refused to listen and now want to complain to me about it? You chose to have them both up there after being warned it was a disaster in the making. It is not my job to handle things with Kathy anymore. You chose that responsibility when you allowed her to move up there. You chose it so you deal with it, but do not make me listen to the gripes that you could have avoided had you simply listened.

Now I do have actual important issues to handle, things for someone who actually needs the help handling. I will be making another post about current events and future plans likely later tonight or tomorrow.

Have a blessed day folks and please consider assisting me in getting a few kitties spayed / neutered so they can be adopted!!! See the about me page for those details.