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PROLOGUE
A year and a half, at least, I’ve been held captive in this house. So many things have happened during that time, many horrible things and some a little surprising. Chris has stayed away for the most part lately, and I was thankful for that. But I’m still locked in a room in his basement and I know he will not stay away forever. What surprised me the most however, was the revelation I had made to David. In my heart I knew it was true but how could it have happened? How could things have changed so much with him in such a short amount of time? I knew he meant what he said when he told me that he loves me, but why would he still keep me locked in this room? Would I ever be allowed to leave this room? Glancing around, the memories of what has happened in here filled my thoughts. How many times had I been raped in here? How many times had I been brutalized? There is no escape from here. I know that without a doubt because I had tried, more than once. They had hunted me down like an animal and brought me back to suffer for what I had done.
Comparison between the two revealed a truth I hadn’t seen before. Once I was so terrified of David that I almost passed out from fear when he would come near me. Why? In remembering everything, I had realized that of all the times he could have truly hurt me or killed me he hadn’t, why not? David could have snapped my neck without breaking a sweat, yet he hadn’t. He restrained his strength with me when I had given him every reason not to at times. I recalled our many encounters before the revelation. He had slapped me many times, sometimes splitting my lip. He had kicked me once, but never truly hurt me. He terrorized me, but somehow I have always known he would not hurt me, why? After everything, why did I feel secure with him and why did I fall in love with him?
Chris was the polar opposite. Once he had loved me, so much so that he never let go even when he had disappeared from my life for so long. Now his love has turned to obsession with a twisted passion that desires to possess and control me. Those desires now fill him with rage, all of it directed at me. It was Chris who had restrained me most of the time. It was Chris who first raped me in the early days of my captivity. It was Chris who beat me with the whip until I had welts so bad that David had to treat them. It was Chris who killed that woman right in front of me. Yes, I had witnessed David kill Lucas but it wasn’t with the malice Chris exhibited when he killed Marla. For David, this act appeared to be a task he had to do, emotionless and professional. Chris had brought me to the brink of death only to repeat his torment over and over. David had never gone that far with me. He threatened me, but he never harmed me the way Chris had. What would Chris do now that I have made my feelings known? I shuddered, not really wanting to know the answer to that.
As teenagers, Chris had shown his jealousy more than once. A few months after we had started dating a friend spoke to me at a dance, a male friend. Chris took him outside and beat him so ruthlessly that he ended up in the hospital. After that I was very careful to make sure he never knew I spoke to my male friends. I should have seen it then, the violence he was capable of but I didn’t. I was young and thought I was in love. One time Chris had turned that jealousy on me, only once but it is burned into my memory. Chris had caught me talking to my lab partner about an upcoming assignment. He had grabbed me by the throat and shoved me against the wall, squeezing my throat until my eyes watered and lips quivered. The rage I saw in his eyes that day convinced me to keep my friends at arms length. I remember how furious he was and I took special effort to make sure he never caught me again. That night I turned to Mich Mich nev nev er saw Mich
My life is surrounded by confusion most of the time, and sometimes with a little clarity. How had David done what he did to me so effectively? In the space of days my fear disappeared and was replaced with a depth of desire I had never experienced before. No matter how I tried to understand it I couldn’t. But sometimes life is like that, mysterious and confusing. As I put my journal aside, I thought of David and how he is with me now and smiled. I do love him and it’s a love that I have never experienced the power of in my life. A love that I found myself desiring, needing, actually tasting of. A journey that I could not wait to begin. A wonderful journey that I had longed for my entire life but had never realized it. Strange how you nev
CHAPTER 1
After last night’s revelation, I slept better than I had in a long time. David lay beside me, holding me in his arms. My mind was still trying to process the reality that I do love him and what he does to me. How would that affect my captivity here, I wondered as I watched him sleep. It’s strange how things work out sometimes. Fate, destiny, whatever it is brought me here, to David and he stole my heart when it should have been impossible for him to do so. Would David be able to keep Chris away? How would our love affect Chris and how he treated me now? Would I ever get out of this room or would they still keep me locked in this basement hellhole? So many questions and not near enough answers. He sighed as I touched his cheek. He was so handsome, why couldn’t I have met him years ago? Memories of our discussions filled my head. David had been the stalker, yet Chris is the one obsessed with me. David knew me more intimately than Chris ever could. David knew me better than I knew myself and that idea frightened me as well as excited me. I heard the door locks disengaging and knew it was Chris. I pulled myself closer to David and pretended to be asleep. He wasn’t supposed to be here, why was he? Chris entered quietly carrying a tray of food.
“What are you doing down here?” David asked without opening his eyes. His arm went around me protectively.
“Peace offering. I know I went too far and I’m sorry,” he explained as he waited for a reply. I was trembling in David’s arms; I know he felt it.
“Too far? You damn near killed her. Can’t you see she’s terrified of you now? Have you seen what you done to her?” He was angry, very angry with Chris.
“Taylor
“Please go, Chris,” I said quietly, with my voice still rough and raspy. He didn’t. He just stood there looking at me. David sat up next to me.
“You should leave. You don’t need to be anywhere near her right now,” David said as he stood up. I dropped my hair and stayed where I was. I was afraid Chris would try something. Chris took a step closer to where I was and David did not hesitate to put himself between us.
“I just want to talk to her,” Chris said as David blocked the path to me.
“You can talk to her from where you are,” David stated as he planted himself between us, crossing his arms over his chest like a bouncer in a club.
“There’s nothing to discuss Chris,” I almost whispered. My throat was still raw and sore and probably would be for a while.
“You would have killed me if David hadn’t stopped you.” My trembling was getting worse. I could feel the tension in the room rising by the second like the temperature on a hot Louisiana
“I wouldn’t have killed you Taylor. I just get so worked up when you don’t cooperate.” He tried to justify his actions by blaming me for it. This was typical of Chris. Even as teenagers he always tried to blame me for his violent outbursts against those I cared for.
“Leave Chris,” David ordered him.
“Wait.” I said. “Let him say his peace.” I really didn’t want to hear it, but as long as he felt he needed to then he would keep coming around. Maybe after he said it he would leave me alone. I stood and positioned myself behind David but where I could see Chris. David reached behind himself and put his arm around me.
“I won’t let him hurt you,” David whispered.
“I know. Let him speak,” I said as I watched Chris.
“Things got out of hand. I swear it won’t happen again,” he said as sincerely as he could. I searched his eyes and I think he believed what he was saying, but I couldn’t.
“How far would you have let it go if David hadn’t been there?” I asked as I held David’s arm to me. It was so strange; the one I initially feared was now protecting me from the one who had once loved me. Funny how things work out sometimes, isn’t it?
“I wouldn’t have killed you. I know that,” he stated firmly.
“Do you know just how close you came to doing exactly that?” I asked as I watched him. He was nervous and fidgety.
“I didn’t mean to. I lost control. I swear it won’t happen again,” he replied. He had said those same words when he put Dale in the hospital when we were teenagers. I didn’t believe him then and I don’t believe him now.
“You’re damn straight it won’t happen again because I don’t want you anywhere near her,” David almost shouted.
“This is my house. I’ll go where I please in it,” Chris retorted.
“Stay away from me, Chris. I don’t trust you anymore,” I said with tears in my eyes. I wanted him to leave and never come back, but I knew that would never happen as long as he held me here.
“You can’t keep me from coming down here. Like I said, this is my house and I’ll do what I damn well please in it.” Chris had the same look in his eyes that he had when he almost strangled me to death. I was so scared, my neck actually started throbbing.
“She needs time to heal Chris. She needs rest. If you don’t leave her alone I’ll take her far away from here and you’ll never see her again,” David threatened. It shocked me. I looked at him in amazement. Would he really take me away from here? I could only hope. If I was away from here maybe life could get back to normal, whatever normal was anymore.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Chris spat as he stepped closer to David. Chris was a good deal smaller than David in height and weight. David could easily take him but Chris was fearless now just as he was when we were younger.
“Try me. We’ve been doing this for over ten years now Chris. How many women have you terrorized to the point that you killed them because they wouldn’t cooperate?” David questioned. What? Chris told me David killed those women. Did I hear him right? My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to understand what was being said, tried to put the pieces of this puzzle together in my mind.
“I wouldn’t have had to if you would have controlled them like you said you would,” he retorted.
“Taylor
“She was brought here because you wanted her. Plain and simple. You wanted her and here she is,” Chris countered. “You wanted to train her you said, you wanted her for yourself. How’s that working out for you?” he spat sarcastically.
“It would be working fine if you’d leave her alone,” David spat back at him. My God they sounded like jealous little boys!
“Stop this. Stop it right now,” I said as loudly as I could. “You’re BOTH holding me here. You have both been cruel to me. It doesn’t matter. Chris, you went too far. I wouldn’t be standing here right now if David hadn’t been here and for that I am grateful to him. Will you just please go?” I said as I stayed behind David.
“This isn’t about what you want, Taylor tempe r, held in check until this moment, finally got the best of me as I nev
“No it’s not. It has always been about what YOU wanted. You were the first one to rape me. You were the one to tell those men to take me in the barn and teach me a lesson. Do you know what they did to me? Do you even care? It was David who came out and got me. It was David who stopped you from killing me. Are you even the slightest bit sorry for what you’ve done to me?” I screamed then coughed as my throat rebelled against the forced use of it. I came around David, but he tried to stop me. I stood toe to toe with Chris.
“I think I see what’s going on here,” Chris implied as he glanced from me to David then back to me. His eyes were gleaming with jealousy. Those ocean blue eyes looked as cold as the Antarctic.
“No you don’t. You don’t have a clue because all you can see is what you want to see. When you threw me out the front door that day and I ran, those men raped me over and over then locked me in a barn stall like an animal. You kept me tied to a bed for months because I cried to get out and it gave you a headache.” I paused to catch my breath. I stuck my finger to his chest as I continued.
“You brought me to this island knowing I’d never be able to leave it. You have lied to me constantly. You said it was David who killed those women. I should’ve known better after you killed Marla right in front of me, for what? Because I wouldn’t give you permission to violate me?” I was running out of steam fast. David took my arms and tried to pull me back.
“Calm down, Taylor
“It’s you who can’t let go. You left me. I didn’t want you to go but you did. You left me six weeks pregnant to raise a baby on my own! You never called. You never wrote and now you’re upset because Jack took me in and raised YOUR child as his own? What right do you have to be angry with me? Tell me what right do you have?” I was beyond furious, so much so that I didn’t even realize I had told him he has a child.
“What did you say?” Chris asked as they both looked at me. “I have a child?”
“Oh my God, I never meant to tell you.” I cried and turned to David and buried myself in his arms, crying.
“I have a child? Is it a boy or girl?” He asked with curiosity. He would never leave me alone now I realized as I cried. Just days ago he had cornered me, wanting to know why I couldn’t conceive. He had made me suffer that day for something I had no control over. He was so upset that he would not have a child with me and here I had revealed something I never wanted him to know, his daughter.
“Leave her be, Chris, can’t you see she’s exhausted?” David said as he held me.
“I have a right to know about my child.” He grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him. David put his arms around me clutching me to his chest. I knew David would protect me, so I let Chris speak.
“Is it a boy or girl? I want to know everything,” he pleaded with sincerity.
“You have a daughter. She’s beautiful. Perfect and just as stubborn as you,” I said tearfully. I knew in my heart my secret now revealed, bound me to Chris forever. As my heart sank I knew now I would never be free, never escape Chris and this hell he has brought me to.
“How old is she? Does she know about me?” He was shooting questions at me so fast it was making my head spin.
“I need to sit down,” I said as David took me to the couch and we sat. Chris took the chair. “Would you get me some water?” I asked David just before he sat down. He glared at Chris and retrieved the water.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chris asked impatiently. David sat next to me offering me the bottle of water. I accepted it and twisted the cap, took a long sip then prepared myself to tell Chris what he wis
“You were never supposed to know,” I replied then sipped my water. “Her name is Brianna and she’s 17. She doesn’t know that Jack isn’t her father and I want to keep it that way.” I wish I hadn’t told him, wish she wasn’t his but I couldn’t take it back now.
“Tell me about her,” he urged as he put his elbows on his knees.
“You have no idea how hard this is for me,” I whispered as I held the water bottle. “If you have all of the pictures David said you did then chances are you have a picture of her. She has your hair and eyes, she’s a great student. She wants to be a computer programmer and has a full scholarship to MIT. I don’t want you upsetting her life. She doesn’t deserve it,” I said with dread knowing he would find a way to contact her and that as long as I’m locked up here I couldn’t protect her.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Chris asked quietly.
“By the time I found out I was pregnant you were all ready gone off to school. I didn’t know how to contact you. Jack offered to marry me and raise her as his own and I accepted,” I explained.
“Jack is a good father; he raised her well. You’d be proud of her,” I added. Tears streaked down my face. The last thing I wanted to think about here was my children. I couldn’t be with them, I couldn’t talk to them and it hurt me to think about not being there for them.
Silence fell across the room as I contemplated what to tell him. I knew he would not leave until he had exhausted the questions. David put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. It reassured me that he would not allow Chris to do anything more than talk. I had hoped this day would never come, and never thought it would under these circumstances. I prayed that Chris didn’t know where Jack was and would not be able to find her.
“What’s she like? Does she have a boyfriend yet? I want to know all about her. I’ve missed so much of her life,” he said in a rush. “So when I saw you that Christmas it was her you were pregnant with? I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me then.” He sat back in his chair waiting for me to answer. Maybe, I prayed, this knowledge would keep him from hurting me anymore.
“Brianna is very mature for her age. She’s the oldest and she helped me with the others a lot. She has dated and there is a boy she was interested in the last time I spoke with her. He took her to the prom.” Tears continued to flow as I remembered my children.
“Yes when you saw me it was her I was pregnant with. I couldn’t tell you. I had all ready married Jack by then. He had committed himself to another man’s child, was I supposed to upset that? I couldn’t do it. He loves her as much as if she were his and in many ways she is.” I paused and took a drink of water. Talking was causing my throat to become more irritated and sore.
“Maybe I could bring the pictures I have down and you could tell me about them,” he offered. “Why didn’t you say anything the other night when we talked?” he added.
“You were drunk, Chris. Do you even recall what happened during that conversation?” I asked as I looked at him. How much Brianna did look like him I realized for the first time. How many years had I ignored those resemblances?
“To be honest I don’t remember much of it. I did have quite a bit to drink,” he confessed.
“That was when you started getting extremely violent with me. You choked me that night until I threw up,” I remarked as he looked a bit embarrassed. “What would have happened to me if I had told you that you had a child? That I had kept her from you all these years? You were all ready angry with me and took me to the brink of death’s door with that damn sash. You think I liked keeping it from you? I wanted to tell you. But you had school, then you disappeared and I never saw you again until the day I shot Randy. She needed a father in her life and Jack gave her that. Don’t take that away from her now, it wouldn’t be fair to her,” I asked as anger started to build in me.
“I’d like to be a part of her life now,” he said as he leaned forward again.
“Maybe one day you can meet her but it would be best for everyone that nothing is said about who you are to her.” I silently prayed that Jack would keep her from meeting him. “Promise me you’ll do nothing until I can be there to introduce you,” I requested.
“Why is that necessary? Don’t you trust me not to say anything to her?” he added as he stood up. Thank goodness he would be going, finally.
“No, Chris, I don’t trust you and I doubt I ever will again,” I stated as he walked toward the door.
“I have a right to at least meet her, learn about her and be involved in her life,” he said as he opened the door. I stood and ran to him. I was beyond angry and needed to say something to him to stop him from destroying Brianna’s life the way he was trying to do to mine.
“Chris, wait until an appropriate time when I can be there,” I pleaded one last time before I exploded on him.
“Why? Why shouldn’t I just send her an email right now?” He turned to me and I went off.
“What right do you have? If you had done your math back then you would have realized she couldn’t have been Jack’s. You weren’t there when she was born. You didn’t walk the floor at night when she was teething. You didn’t cry all day on her first day of school. You didn’t hold your breath the first time she went swimming without a life vest.” I had to stop and take a breath then I punched that finger to his chest again and let him have it all. “Where were you when she rode her bike the first time without training wheels? Where were you when she buried her first dog? Where were you when she went out on her first date? Or drove a car for the first time? YOU WEREN’T THERE! Jack was. What right do you have to tell her that Jack isn’t her father? You have none. You gave up that right when you left me pregnant and alone! You do what you want with me but stay away from her!” I screamed and shoved him as hard as I could. I was stunned when I actually shoved him hard enough to knock him over.
“She has a right to know Taylor
“Yes she does but not when you say. When she’s old enough to accept it, yes she can be told, but not right now. Not when she has a promising future that this knowledge could take away from her,” I shouted. I was still trembling with anger. Then Chris did something that I had not anticipated.
“What right did you have to keep the pregnancy from me? You should have asked my parents to contact me. Did you ever try? What right did you have to keep her away from me all these years?” He yelled at me and backed me up until I hit the table. I would not back down, not this time.
“You gave me the right when you left me with no way to contact you,” I spat at him. “Bring the pictures. I’ll tell you about her but grant me this one request. Do not try to contact her until I’ve had a chance to talk to her face to face. Please, Chris.”
“I won’t make any such promises. I’ll bring the pictures down but I can’t promise you I won’t try to contact her,” he stated.
“Then at least promise me you will not tell her who you are. Make up something, anything I don’t care. Just don’t tell her,” I demanded.
“All right I won’t tell her. But you will tell her and she will know me. I will become a part of her life,” he spat back at me.
“Only if she wants you to,” I replied as he stormed out the door, locking it behind him. I nearly collapsed but David caught me and helped me back to the couch. I cried for a while before I was finally able to calm down.
“He won’t hurt her, Taylor
“You think he won’t?” I asked timidly.
“No. I don’t believe he will. I’ve known him a long time and he has always wanted children. So, no, I don’t believe he would hurt her,” he concluded.
“I didn’t think he would hurt me and look at what’s happened. How can I expect him to treat her any differently?” My eyes were dry. I had no more tears left to cry. I tried not to visualize Chris meeting Brianna and what he was capable of.
“So this was why you married Jack so soon after Chris left?” he asked quietly. What an odd question, I thought briefly. David hadn’t known me then so why was he so curious about why I married so young?
“Yes.” I had no strength left in me. The last couple of weeks had taken its toll on me.
“I wish I could do something to make this easier on you,” he said with sadness in his voice, his hand still stroking my hair.
“I knew that someday I’d have to tell him. I just didn’t think it would be here, under these circumstances,” I said as a new round of tears found a way to come.
“I wish I had known you back then,” he mused. Part of me wished I had known him then too. How different my life might have been if I had.
“Why are you being so kind to me?” I asked as he brushed his fingers across my cheek, wiping away a tear.
“Did you forget already?” He smiled as he embraced me.
“No, I just wanted to be sure that I actually heard it and it wasn’t my imagination.” I sighed.
“You heard it,” he said as I snuggled in closer to him.
“David?” I began as I looked into his eyes.
“Yes, sweetheart?” he whispered with a smile.
“He’ll never stay away now, you know that don’t you?” I sighed as I lay on his lap with reality settling in on me.
“Do you trust me?” he asked as he stroked my hair, looking at me with so much love in his eyes.
“Without question,” I replied, and it was true, strange but very true. Just days ago that wasn’t the case, but now I trusted him with my life.
“Let it go then,” he whispered as I closed my eyes trying to block out the terrible thoughts that threatened to consume me. We sat like that for a long time before we went about the day, barely speaking. When night finally came, I fell into an exhausted sleep.
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